Did you really think I would do some 9 page blog about politics - blog to incite riots and get people all reved up and angry heading into the polls. Do you think I have the inside track on one of the candidates? Do I look like a politician? Please, no more Obama comments here. I look like a man who can really air guitar. That's where my true talent lies.
Since the last post:
- I have sucesfully failed horribly on the master cleanse some 1.5 days after starting it (Please check with KimRobinsonCleanseCalculations INC for days approximation)
- I have decided which presidential candidate(s) to not vote for
- I missed a dentist appointment
- mowed the yard
- decided to run a marathon, yes a marathon --- let's pause here:
Marathon running is not for the weak of heart or legs. It is painful, and rewarding --- painfully rewarding. What is the reward you ask? Well, while you are bent over at mile 20 gasping for any oxygen the atmosphere will allow you that you have not already attempted to get into your now 1 functioning lung after the other collapsed at mile 6, and Tina, the marathon volunteer, who is at this moment regretting even signing up for this thing because she had tickets to the New Kids on the Block reunion tour, but skipped it because Tammy, her cousin by marriage convinced her that this was a great way to motivate both of them to "get back into" working out, although we all know that going to the tanning bed and wearing workout gear does not mean that you actually work out, and that Jane Fonda Kickboxing VHS(BETA mind you) that has been collecting dust on top of the VCR for 12 years now is just a front, is hardly going to jump start much except an excuse to eat 3 bags of fries at Five Guys after the race because the shear thought of watching people work out makes Tammy hungry....anyways, so at this point Tina is holding an ice pack on the back of your neck, lying to you better than your 10th grade girlfriend did when she said, "it's not you, it's just me" 4 minutes before the breakup, and 10 mins after she got in Tim Willouski's 2002 convertible geo metro sport --- you know, the one with the racing stripe, and while Tina tells you that you are almost there, which in itself is one of the phrases she was taught to use to anyone with a pulse who looks light headed and needed a good pick-me-up on her list of "THINGS TO SAY IF THE MARATHONER LOOKS LIKE DEATH" checklist, and you know in your heart, that your heart itself is half asleep in there because let's face it...it knew, and you knew that there's no way you could complete 26 miles of torture, heck you get winded vacuuming. So where's the reward? Where is the pat on the back? Will you get a key to the city? Does this somehow give you the leg up on the 5K'ers who all with smiling facing crossed the finish line giggling about how this was "so great" and how they are "gonna definitely do it again next year, girl?" Of course it does not. The only thing this gives you is clearance to go straight to McDonald's and eat 2 big macs with extra mystery sauce, drink an upsized beverage of choice, and watch the rest of matlock while you sink into your sugar induced coma. You see, working out is for everyone!
