green - i wouldn't swim in it

anyone have a pool that you want to saw down the side with a steak knife. yes, i want to go slow and make sure it's half dull. sure, it's gonna cause me a lot of work, and sweat, but in the end when the murkey waters of the green lagoon come sliming out onto my backyard...i'm definately going to give a few tiger woods fist pumps. yes, i'm talking about an above ground pool...aka...money pit. yes, i know in an earlier addition, i said that we would in fact be wading it up and throwing in into a giant recycling bin. But, we also said that we'd never own anymore cats, however; "White SoxMcGee" and "Cat #2" live on our porch. I think we hired them contract style to kill mice, but I'd contend that they basically are just going to eat a bunch of food, get fat, and retire early. dang democracy. anyways, so yes...the pool is staying, but since M. Main broke the pool, wait, it's back to life, wait, it's broken..thanks Tarek...nope it's...yep...*GASP* it's working again. in the meantime, all the pump breakdowns has allowed for a lot of nasty green, blackish, fungus stuff to grow in nicely. the pool is like a big slushy of nasty slime. if i was like a big giant, i'd step into my backyard and take a big drink of the green machine smoothie...but, i'm not a giant, and you need to get your head on straight. this is a mess. what am i going to do? well aside having to go hand to hand combat with the creature from the black lagoon(what a left hook that guy's got), I'm about to put the ole chlorine shock on this bad boy and call it a day. All i have to say is RIP greenmachine. (the picture is a pack of my favorite cough drops...apparently, it is someone else's too. please people, don't steal!)

Is Nigel there?

Blogs are like dedication songs. You know like when you were in high school, and you sent the dedication song over the radio to your girlfriend. Or, you might have sent it to that chic that you wanted to be your girlfriend, but you were stuck with a girl that was nuts that you couldn’t get rid of? Don’t look at me like that. All of you dated some crazy freak who tried to get you to marry them in 9th grade, but you wormed out by the hair of your teeth(really bad phrase), and you are here today only because you were able to shake Ole Crazy. Well, anyways, back to dedications…wait, no for a second, the above scenario was not about me, eh…a friend of mine. I dedicate this blog to Nigel. Why? Well, because he’s just tough as nails. I avoid situations that require me to suffer(which is exactly why I like riding dead in the middle of the race instead of at the front). Nigel likes to suffer. If you say, “Hey, Nigel…you have a choice between eating a ham and cheese or spikes, nails, and rusty saw blades pizza, Nigel will pick the pizza, then go ride 4 hours on flat tires because that will improve his balance. This past weekend he participated in a 24hr Run. Why you ask? Well, for one because he’s smart. His wife asked, and he said yes. That is good enough for me. But, still better yet because he invites pain in the door with a smile on his face. Did I mention that Nigel is not a runner? He’s a cyclist. This means that his body went through some serious pain and agony because of the bone impact that it never experiences. Want more? He also did 15 miles. For those of you who pant after you get up and grab the remote only to go sit back down and eat Cheetos, let me explain that 15miles is a very long way, and more than half of a marathon. Get you some of that. It would have been easy if he suffered it all at once, but he broke it up into smaller 5 mile chunks…while his muscles and body got a chance to swell up and curse him before his 2am second leg. So what do we say to the man, who lead me out perfectly for the best finish I had all season last year, for the man who’s favorite recovery drink is chocolate milk, for the guy whose daughter has the intellectual capacity of a 35 year old accountant? We don’t ask anything; we just grab his wheel when he pulls through.

put a fork in me, dig deep

i slept with red vines last night. i mean, i slept with Kim primarily, but RED VINES were on the floor beside the bed. oh boy, they are my new favorite thing to munch. i blazed through so many, but i find that the bag hangs around a while. who would have thought that tons of sugar could make a bad cyclist feel so good. at the end of the day, i conclude that all you need is a) the bible b) someone to watch your back c) someone who knows CPR d) 1/4 cup of olive oil e) coffee f) a time machine g) crocks h) RED VINES

you see, the list is still short now that I have added what is probably a very needed...oh wait, i forgot DORITOZ on this list. Speaking of, K did not get me any yesterday at the grocery. It looks like I'm gonna have to pay ole Mr. Teeter a visit.

You know, in general, women prefer that they hit the grocery alone. this is only because we like the things that are not on their list. I general take 2 different approaches to throw K off. If I stay near the cart, I do the old, "hey look over there...FREE TOFU!" stunt. When she looks over, BOOM, i throw a couple of Fuse in the cart...this works the first couple of times, then you have to get clever...grab some pez in one hand, then initiate a hug with the other hand, as the arms meet on the other side...PLOP...into the cart they go. My other tactic is to go look for one thing and get lost, meet up at the check out with about 15 more items...a bag of ginger spears, fruity pebbles(she will reject these...too much High Frutose Corn Syrup), organic strawberry milk, AMY'S FROZEN PIZZA PIZZA, ohh, what about that tasty crest kids toothpaste. I mean, I don't try to buy it, but it sure it good. I think they have like some orange flavored for the grownups, but pasting a ton of sugar on your teeth cannot be that healthy anyways. But, all in all, K keeps me healthy so I cannot complain. if it were up to me, i probably would not have any teeth, and my kidneys would hate me, oh oh, and there's still my heart which would be coated in fat from eating pork chops every night, along with all the free radicals which would be ready to riot into cancer from all the HFCS that I would try to slide under the mat.

BTW, I am semi-retired from cycling. After 2 days getting blow apart in races, I decided that I'll just train for a while before I ever pin another number on my back. I'm not going to give anymore donations to USA Cyling until I'm sitting 3rd wheel with one lap to go.

good morning...ps - radiohead invades charlotte in just 4 days!!!!