put a fork in me, dig deep

i slept with red vines last night. i mean, i slept with Kim primarily, but RED VINES were on the floor beside the bed. oh boy, they are my new favorite thing to munch. i blazed through so many, but i find that the bag hangs around a while. who would have thought that tons of sugar could make a bad cyclist feel so good. at the end of the day, i conclude that all you need is a) the bible b) someone to watch your back c) someone who knows CPR d) 1/4 cup of olive oil e) coffee f) a time machine g) crocks h) RED VINES

you see, the list is still short now that I have added what is probably a very needed...oh wait, i forgot DORITOZ on this list. Speaking of, K did not get me any yesterday at the grocery. It looks like I'm gonna have to pay ole Mr. Teeter a visit.

You know, in general, women prefer that they hit the grocery alone. this is only because we like the things that are not on their list. I general take 2 different approaches to throw K off. If I stay near the cart, I do the old, "hey look over there...FREE TOFU!" stunt. When she looks over, BOOM, i throw a couple of Fuse in the cart...this works the first couple of times, then you have to get clever...grab some pez in one hand, then initiate a hug with the other hand, as the arms meet on the other side...PLOP...into the cart they go. My other tactic is to go look for one thing and get lost, meet up at the check out with about 15 more items...a bag of ginger spears, fruity pebbles(she will reject these...too much High Frutose Corn Syrup), organic strawberry milk, AMY'S FROZEN PIZZA PIZZA, ohh, what about that tasty crest kids toothpaste. I mean, I don't try to buy it, but it sure it good. I think they have like some orange flavored for the grownups, but pasting a ton of sugar on your teeth cannot be that healthy anyways. But, all in all, K keeps me healthy so I cannot complain. if it were up to me, i probably would not have any teeth, and my kidneys would hate me, oh oh, and there's still my heart which would be coated in fat from eating pork chops every night, along with all the free radicals which would be ready to riot into cancer from all the HFCS that I would try to slide under the mat.

BTW, I am semi-retired from cycling. After 2 days getting blow apart in races, I decided that I'll just train for a while before I ever pin another number on my back. I'm not going to give anymore donations to USA Cyling until I'm sitting 3rd wheel with one lap to go.

good morning...ps - radiohead invades charlotte in just 4 days!!!!