good old fashion funny

it's not too often that you get to do a good old skool prank on someone. well, this morning, in true bad-jokes-corporate fashion young trainee Randal Baker is going to get about 900 swishy toys dumped into his face when Jerry asks him for a random folder that is located in the cabinet. Why would we do such a thing(although I really was not involved but am quite jealous that I missed the chance)? Well, the young man in the picture(see before on previous blogs), stock trader and bearish investor, M. MAIN used to sit at this cube. When reassigned, his spot was taken while he was at the bathroom...so this is pay back. Hey, you folks know me, I don't believe in taking revenge, that's God's parking space...but this is classic. Funny even. I just had a thought though...what if Randal reads this blog before we ask him for the "folder." Ah, anyways, life is life you know. I have not had any coffee this morning, so I'm a little edgy. We are in the process of moving out of our house. In fact, last night I spent some time packing and kept finding things that I thought I'd thrown away years ago...a picture of my 3rd grade girlfriend with an inscription on the back that said, "I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!" Now, you may laugh, but I'm not even sure I had a girlfriend in 3rd grade. I mean, I had a tremendous crush on Kerri Halford as I remember, but I lived in North West TN, and interracial anything was going to get somebody shot. In fact, people didn't like you mixing peanut butter and jelly...as it might give the kids the wrong idea. But anyways, what was love in 3rd grade? That basically meant that she would give me like her extra roll at lunch, and during recess, I was forced to come up to her at least once and ask her how she was doing before returning to my heavily intense game of "Smear the Deer." Yes...it was later named "Deer" after the teachers declared that "Queer" was not exactly politically correct. There's no telling what the name was before minorities got in the school. Kerri ended up getting married to a great buddy, Todd after college. They both live happily now with no kids, but I think she's a nurse, and he's a doctor. Oh yes, so that I don't forget and break the 24hr rule, I didn't find that picture...it was for a good joke, however; I did find a really nice wedding album that we haven't put any pictures in 4 years after the fact and a lot of MIX tapes.

you call this racin? Mission: Peeing

I would like to report that I have 10 wins this season, however; nothing could be further from the truth. Don't worry, I'm positive...positive that at this point, I'm just racing for fun. I'm not competing with anyone except the other losers who are training about 5 hrs a week. Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for Tom Boonen, who had his dang hands lifted in the air as he got smoked at the line by Markie C. Just look at Big Tom's face. Because I'm not used to going across the line in first place, I have plenty of advice for those who attempt to throw their hands in the air...don't do it. I guess you were expecting more there. BUT, as usual, i would like to direct your attention to the last episode of the office. He was great of course and was topped off by yet another Dwight quote, "It's purely carnal." On the subject that my wife tries to dodge. Male urine placement. Why is it that all guys prefer to pee everywhere except the toilet? I cannot answer that question. I'm known for peeing behind her truck bumper or even behind the garbage can. That is perfect cover. However, recently we have purchased a house out in the country, so I now it's right off the back porch. This is awesome. I'm going to rate this blog a 2.5 on a 5.0 scale. I've been up since 1:30am...I love the smell of bacon in the morning...sue me.

Funny, she doesn't look Drewish

boy, it's been ages. you know you always say that to old friends, however; i think you have to officially be over 60 years old for the statement to apply. 45 years qualifies as an "age." but, yes, readers it has been ages....since Michael Main and i made any money in the market, since i crossed the finish line with my hands over my hand for more than letting my underarms vent, and ages, yes, ages since a decent presidential candidate ran for office. don't start that, "what about Bush junk, and i won't tolerate any Obama/Clinton junk either. Hogwash. i think it's been ages since i used that word. wait, i'm not old enough. anyways, we are knee deep in an attempt to sell our house. and by that, i mean that we've already been through the phase where we are so excited about it that we hardly sleep on the bed that we intend to make up and press down the sheets of only 7 hrs after our heads hit the pillow in pure excitement(that's 5 hrs for kim because she's a little more excitable than me, and she requires narcotics to get some shut eye), and now we've resigned only 4 weeks later, that this place just might not sell, however; after dropping $800 bucks on inspections, my cheap-o-meter has gone off and now i'm not pleased. it's only money right? yeah right. no one with any money ever said that. when was the last time donald trump dropped a couple of hundreds out of his pocket when he was digging for an Altoids and said, ah...it's only money, no where are those dang mints. nope, it never happened. you know why, because he'd actually never carry cash. this brings me to my next point. everyone needs to stop carrying cash. having it on you make you spend it, and when i see you with it, i'll ask you to buy me some pez. yes, pez...the highly sugary fun snack, or candy that is dispensed out of the toy-candy shooter. of course my preference in the 2001 Batman. But, who can ever forget the Micky Mouse that looks chilling like the Immortals from the movie, "300." Now, that is a good movie, and for the sake of this movie discussion, which I just started even though you didn't ask...it ranks right up there with "A Clockwork Orange." And, on that note, "As an unmuddied lake, Fred. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, Fred." - Alex, A Clockwork Orange