I used to enjoy them. we all did right. the chocolate would melt in your mouth. that beautiful slightly crunchy cookie that we all knew was genetically engineered. ahhhhh.
Now, on this day my superstar nephew, Camden Barber has been born. Some will refer to him as Mr. November. Others will call him, "HEY YOU, GET DOWN O
FF THE TABLE WITH ICE SKATES ON, I WORK TOO HARD TO WATCH YOU SCRATCH UP THIS TABLE. WE BOUGHT THAT FROM INDIA. YOU KNOW SON, THE INDIA TRIP WHEN YOUR DAD GOT BIT BY THAT 34 FT JAVA RAPTOR SNAKE. THE ONE THAT 4 YEARS PREVIOUS HAD EATEN THE COUPLE FROM EAST GERMANY THAT BOTH HAD BEARDS. YES, YES, THE WOMAN HAD A TERRIBLE HORMONE ISSUE THAT CAUSED LARGE WHITE FLUFFY HAIR TO GROWN JUST ON HER CHEEKS. IT WAS REALLY A ROUGH THING FOR HER BECAUSE IT WAS LONG ENOUGH TO BRAID, AND YES...IT WAS BRAIDED WHEN THE SNAKE ATE THEM. THAT'S WHY THE SNAKE HAD THAT ONE LAZY EYE. SO GET OFF THE TABLE WITH THOSE ICE SKATES ON, OR ELSE I WILL MANGLE YOUR STICKY FINGERS WHICH HAVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN IN THE CAKE I BAKED FOR YOUR TWICE BITTEN FATHER FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. YES, TWICE BITTEN BECAUSE BESIDES THE SNAKE IN INDIA, THE PARROT WE USED TO HAVE CHARLIE BIT HIM THE SECOND DAY WE HAD HIM. NO, YOU DON'T REMEMBER, BUT CHARLIE BIT HIM BECAUSE YOUR DAD IN AN ACT OF PURE HUNGER ATE ONE OF HIS SUNFLOWER SEEDS BECAUSE I WORKED LATE AND HAD NOT MADE DINNER. AND, WHY DID I WORK LATE? I HAD TO GO OUT AND GET A JOB TO PAY FOR THE TABLE YOU ARE CURRENTLY SCRATCHING TO PIECES. SO GET OFF THE TABLE AND STOP COSTING THIS FAMILY SO MUCH MONEY"
FF THE TABLE WITH ICE SKATES ON, I WORK TOO HARD TO WATCH YOU SCRATCH UP THIS TABLE. WE BOUGHT THAT FROM INDIA. YOU KNOW SON, THE INDIA TRIP WHEN YOUR DAD GOT BIT BY THAT 34 FT JAVA RAPTOR SNAKE. THE ONE THAT 4 YEARS PREVIOUS HAD EATEN THE COUPLE FROM EAST GERMANY THAT BOTH HAD BEARDS. YES, YES, THE WOMAN HAD A TERRIBLE HORMONE ISSUE THAT CAUSED LARGE WHITE FLUFFY HAIR TO GROWN JUST ON HER CHEEKS. IT WAS REALLY A ROUGH THING FOR HER BECAUSE IT WAS LONG ENOUGH TO BRAID, AND YES...IT WAS BRAIDED WHEN THE SNAKE ATE THEM. THAT'S WHY THE SNAKE HAD THAT ONE LAZY EYE. SO GET OFF THE TABLE WITH THOSE ICE SKATES ON, OR ELSE I WILL MANGLE YOUR STICKY FINGERS WHICH HAVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN IN THE CAKE I BAKED FOR YOUR TWICE BITTEN FATHER FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. YES, TWICE BITTEN BECAUSE BESIDES THE SNAKE IN INDIA, THE PARROT WE USED TO HAVE CHARLIE BIT HIM THE SECOND DAY WE HAD HIM. NO, YOU DON'T REMEMBER, BUT CHARLIE BIT HIM BECAUSE YOUR DAD IN AN ACT OF PURE HUNGER ATE ONE OF HIS SUNFLOWER SEEDS BECAUSE I WORKED LATE AND HAD NOT MADE DINNER. AND, WHY DID I WORK LATE? I HAD TO GO OUT AND GET A JOB TO PAY FOR THE TABLE YOU ARE CURRENTLY SCRATCHING TO PIECES. SO GET OFF THE TABLE AND STOP COSTING THIS FAMILY SO MUCH MONEY"yep, I can see it now. or, i could be wrong about some of that. i'm not sure. i don't have kids. i just go on mission trips and get eaten half-alive by ants. yes, it happened, and i have the scars to prove it.
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