"of course i did not go out to eat"

This handsome fellow? He's the only pro in our family...photographer, fancy New York Artist...and cousin...DELL"EATALITTLECATORSOMETHING"MILAN

so here's the deal, in marriage certain deals are made. let me give you an example. you may say, "hey, i'll take the garbage out on Wednesdays, and you brush the dogs teeth, and pick up the dry cleaning." Fair deal...however, for all of your daters, these things don't apply. Sure your boy/girlfriend might come over and like take the garbage out or put your dishes away, but let's just be Frank and Mary with each other, that's charity work. it's what i'd like to call, 'just cause i felt like it and you have not annoyed me lately' work. it's nothing expected. but when you sign the contract in blood, and say "I DO...well...yes, I DO" then, you have jobs to do in the household. buckle your seat belts ladies. so, one thing that always comes up before the starting gun shot of marriage is money. that's right...casssssssshhh, dollar dollar bilz yaw. It was the ODB who said, "cash rules everyrthing arond me c.r.e.a.m. Get the money dolla dolla bill y'all!" and that's no joke. So in the game of marriage, when every man learns that they should have just blown their life savings before getting hitched, they realize that the check card has a chip link to their wives brains. All debits and credits actually go the brain of the wife before they clear and go to the bank. Many of you did not know that. I'm just here to enlighten the blind. Here's a flashlight. So, there is a term I love to use called, "Tim Grahaming It" or "Dang, I just pulled a Tim Graham" or "better pack a good lunch, don't make me mess up and TG it today." The term came from a real life fellow and a really good buddy of mine, whose name will remain a hidden. Don't question me. Short story long...Graham has one of the same passions I do. FOOD. FOOD, and more FOOD. In fact, we both love it so much that we quiver when talking about it. I've been there in the trenches with this guy down in Charleston. The crowd watched silently while we pounded piece after piece, plate after plate into our throats. You don't know the true character of a man, until you see him hunch over in pain, stand up, go over to the rail on the outside deck, puke half of his meal up, and eat a couple of fries off a total strangers plate on the way back to his own table, and order another order of cheese sticks. Graham is made of steel. Anyways, his addiction has lead to some real complications with the wife. They have made a deal. Basically, Graham's not suppose to eat a bunch junk(wherever we ate downtown Charlotte where they kept re-using the grease to make the burgers...man it was good), and when he says that he's not eating out....he's not suppose to eat out. it's a deal, shake hands, high five, paper...rock...you get the point. Anyways, on multiple occasions, he's broken the rules. He told his wife, "of course I did not buy Bo-Jangles...Jason bought it for everyone" It was unfortunate at my birthday dinner that night when we remarked about the kindness of Graham who had bought everyone in the office Bo-Jangles...with those really nice rolls with the cream all over them..YIKES...anyways...he took some verbal beatings...but even while he was being raked over the coals, he still had enough man in him to look over at me, and give me one wink just to say, "ohhh ya...and i'll do it again." And yes he did. Listen, the guy does not even lie. He's super honest, but food turns his into a madman. Jason witnessed the conversation Graham had with his wife, "Of course, I'm not going out...we're just going to best buy..okay, see ya later"...(hangs up the phone) "yo, guys...where are we eating? I'm starving" and just like that...the phrase "TIM GRAHAMING" it was born. Some of you cannot relate to this because there's no budget in your house...or you're single. But most of you know exactly what I'm talking about...probably because you're busy right now shoving a Big Mac into your mouth, wondering how you're going to explain the charge on you Discover Card. Monte Albon for life.