so listen, we all know erik saunders right. for those of you who are not of the cycling persuasion, just humor me and shake your head as if erik was the fellow who dated your sister for 4 months in high school and dumped her when h
e found out about her infectious warts, weird inner ear dysfunction, and nasal congestion that often led to hacking noises. she deserved it because erik is a smooth fellow. here is is pictured giving it all for the Ofoto team. that's called the pain face. and for those of you who are familiar with the title of this blog and which movie it came from...erik is rested very unhappily in his pain cave. now, this erik saunders is not to be confused with the youth below who is one of america's most wanted. i hate to feature him on this blog, but it is really used for your protection, and as a good example of 
what little erik's can grow up to be without the warm loving arms of cycling wrapped around them...along with heart rate monitors. don't do dope kids. back to the story...so you might wonder why good ole erik would be doing appearing on this blog. well, i do consider his role on the documentary "PRO" to be a good piece of journalism. besides, there are not too many other cyclists out there that can ride and blog as well as he does. wait, i forgot, Mark WhattheHekman writes a decent one. Scratch what I said above. But, on tuesday night as I arrived in my white shirt and tie, fresh outta corporate slavery to the Dixie fairgrounds for some crit action, i saw good ole ES, chillin over by EL PRESIDENTE's ride(please refer to other blogs to learn more about the exciting and cheese filled life of EL PRESIDENTE). Apparently, 
some deal had been made in which ES would allow the PRESIDENT to ride his TIME during the crit. Folks, should I remind you that the easter bunny has never been proven to be true, most leprechauns are don't own a pot of gold and are in serious credit card debt for back-taxes, the tooth fairy was @ some pointed ruled out because of her low attention to detail and inability to deliver on time...however, the magical bike of erik saunders has never failed anyone...the President mounted the bike of magic and road ride off the front of the race, into the break, and just for giggles and crossword puzzles, went ahead and lapped the dang field. now, folks do you believe in magic? erik saunders may not be magical. his lazy chilled out mystic might not inspire pixie dust, and a big wand with a star on the end with sparkles coming out of it. but dang it, when you hop aboard the TIME that erik saunders rides, you are about to get a win...okay okay, and maybe you won't win, but at least you'll get second. and hey, let's just say that second is not your thing, and you just finish way back in the pack, or even get dropped because let's face it, not very many of you including myself actual can win a race. let's just be Frank and Mary about this whole thing, most of you have trouble not getting dropped on lap 2, and for those of you who do last, you want it to end before you even line up. let's just be real about the matter, for those of you who have never even gotten on a bike, you're probably wondering what all the hype is about. who wants to ride 3-5 hrs a day training like a madman with lycra rammed up your butt, while your IPOD feeds you the same garbage it has for the last 3 days because you're way to lazy to change it, and you constantly eat so much food, but because of your not so fat figure, most people think that you're tossing it up in the bathroom stall...my answer to that? because, one trip around any course on the magical bike of erik saunders can turn the wasting, office geek, loser, mathematician, encyclopedia reader, mr. ed re-run watching loser...into a podium junkie waving both hands in the air while the podium chics give him the one/two kiss. we salute you EL PRESIDENTE...now where's my money for blocking while you road off the front punk?
e found out about her infectious warts, weird inner ear dysfunction, and nasal congestion that often led to hacking noises. she deserved it because erik is a smooth fellow. here is is pictured giving it all for the Ofoto team. that's called the pain face. and for those of you who are familiar with the title of this blog and which movie it came from...erik is rested very unhappily in his pain cave. now, this erik saunders is not to be confused with the youth below who is one of america's most wanted. i hate to feature him on this blog, but it is really used for your protection, and as a good example of 
what little erik's can grow up to be without the warm loving arms of cycling wrapped around them...along with heart rate monitors. don't do dope kids. back to the story...so you might wonder why good ole erik would be doing appearing on this blog. well, i do consider his role on the documentary "PRO" to be a good piece of journalism. besides, there are not too many other cyclists out there that can ride and blog as well as he does. wait, i forgot, Mark WhattheHekman writes a decent one. Scratch what I said above. But, on tuesday night as I arrived in my white shirt and tie, fresh outta corporate slavery to the Dixie fairgrounds for some crit action, i saw good ole ES, chillin over by EL PRESIDENTE's ride(please refer to other blogs to learn more about the exciting and cheese filled life of EL PRESIDENTE). Apparently, 
some deal had been made in which ES would allow the PRESIDENT to ride his TIME during the crit. Folks, should I remind you that the easter bunny has never been proven to be true, most leprechauns are don't own a pot of gold and are in serious credit card debt for back-taxes, the tooth fairy was @ some pointed ruled out because of her low attention to detail and inability to deliver on time...however, the magical bike of erik saunders has never failed anyone...the President mounted the bike of magic and road ride off the front of the race, into the break, and just for giggles and crossword puzzles, went ahead and lapped the dang field. now, folks do you believe in magic? erik saunders may not be magical. his lazy chilled out mystic might not inspire pixie dust, and a big wand with a star on the end with sparkles coming out of it. but dang it, when you hop aboard the TIME that erik saunders rides, you are about to get a win...okay okay, and maybe you won't win, but at least you'll get second. and hey, let's just say that second is not your thing, and you just finish way back in the pack, or even get dropped because let's face it, not very many of you including myself actual can win a race. let's just be Frank and Mary about this whole thing, most of you have trouble not getting dropped on lap 2, and for those of you who do last, you want it to end before you even line up. let's just be real about the matter, for those of you who have never even gotten on a bike, you're probably wondering what all the hype is about. who wants to ride 3-5 hrs a day training like a madman with lycra rammed up your butt, while your IPOD feeds you the same garbage it has for the last 3 days because you're way to lazy to change it, and you constantly eat so much food, but because of your not so fat figure, most people think that you're tossing it up in the bathroom stall...my answer to that? because, one trip around any course on the magical bike of erik saunders can turn the wasting, office geek, loser, mathematician, encyclopedia reader, mr. ed re-run watching loser...into a podium junkie waving both hands in the air while the podium chics give him the one/two kiss. we salute you EL PRESIDENTE...now where's my money for blocking while you road off the front punk?
4 comments:
Big E says that I don't owe any money according to the video.... going to see it later today.
I liked the Magic TIME so much that I am getting one.....BAM! SRAM and Easton Carbons.... look out.
dang it, good call. i think i was only blocking the folks in the back of the field. you road off by yourself...i gotta burn that film.
i think the 2nd erik sanders lives at the bus stop near my work.....
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