we've all done them. well, wait...some of us have never done them, however; in theory we've done something similar. i'm speaking of the charity bike ride(this is merely a conversation continued fro
m brandon and me about 10 mins ago...i cannot take total credit). so here's the deal. you go to bed early, get up early, carb & protein up, LIKE A RACE, get all your gear ready, LIKE A RACE, load up the car...pick other folks up, LIKE A RACE, talk a little strategy about the day, YEP JUST LIKE A RACE, you arrive and immediately start pointing out folks you know...start talking smack...start talking about old races...where Bla bla bla happened...and you would have won if it were not for bla bla...and remember the bla bla time that bla bal cut you off...and bla bla needs to ride on the rollers more...when you bla bla cat up...BLA BLA BLA, hey guess what, JUST LIKE A RACE, so you pay money??odd..., JUST LIKE A RACE, line up and some guy says riders ready..., SEEMS LIKE A RACE TO ME, you fly out of a parking lot...sure there's a little casual conversation...but in the back of 
your mind...your sticking on the wheel in front of you...you're determined not to get dropped...your heart rate is racing...you see 4/5 guys go off the front...you say,"ha, those idiots...this is a charity ride...haha" but in your heart you say, "i cannot let them get to much time on me...i better move up"...did you Just hear yourself..you said MOVE UP!, i thought this was a charity ride...for charity. when i think about charity, i think of the word LOVE, and good deeds, and walking the elderly across the street, and petting really old animals, and well, general stuff like that...playing bingo at the old folks home...charity...good deeds...but attacking a bunch 50 year old gray panther weekend warriors is not charity...here's the next crazy part about the 'charity ride.' you may say there's no winner, but how many times do you say stuff like, 'i better finish in the front?' there should be no front in a charity ride. we're riding for a cause folks. and how about the wide range of talent. talk about getting yourself wrecked in a heartbeat. you are looking to die.
m brandon and me about 10 mins ago...i cannot take total credit). so here's the deal. you go to bed early, get up early, carb & protein up, LIKE A RACE, get all your gear ready, LIKE A RACE, load up the car...pick other folks up, LIKE A RACE, talk a little strategy about the day, YEP JUST LIKE A RACE, you arrive and immediately start pointing out folks you know...start talking smack...start talking about old races...where Bla bla bla happened...and you would have won if it were not for bla bla...and remember the bla bla time that bla bal cut you off...and bla bla needs to ride on the rollers more...when you bla bla cat up...BLA BLA BLA, hey guess what, JUST LIKE A RACE, so you pay money??odd..., JUST LIKE A RACE, line up and some guy says riders ready..., SEEMS LIKE A RACE TO ME, you fly out of a parking lot...sure there's a little casual conversation...but in the back of 
your mind...your sticking on the wheel in front of you...you're determined not to get dropped...your heart rate is racing...you see 4/5 guys go off the front...you say,"ha, those idiots...this is a charity ride...haha" but in your heart you say, "i cannot let them get to much time on me...i better move up"...did you Just hear yourself..you said MOVE UP!, i thought this was a charity ride...for charity. when i think about charity, i think of the word LOVE, and good deeds, and walking the elderly across the street, and petting really old animals, and well, general stuff like that...playing bingo at the old folks home...charity...good deeds...but attacking a bunch 50 year old gray panther weekend warriors is not charity...here's the next crazy part about the 'charity ride.' you may say there's no winner, but how many times do you say stuff like, 'i better finish in the front?' there should be no front in a charity ride. we're riding for a cause folks. and how about the wide range of talent. talk about getting yourself wrecked in a heartbeat. you are looking to die. Mr. Cat 1 please meet Mr. "WasACat5AboutSevenYearsAgoBeforeIHadAKidAndTodaySheAndMyWifeAreOutAtAYardSaleSoIGotTheGreenLightToComeOutAndRaceIMeanRideThisCharityEventThatIPlanOnWinningInTheFirst500MetersWithMy1974SchwinnSuperSport." But anyways, what do i know. i'm just a guy who knows a guy who wins a lot of races. i'm the guy who also knows a guy who knows a guy who paints figurines of little miniature unicorns with water boots on. anyways, see ya at the charity ride. i like to get in the break early....not because i think it's a race, but because the first folks back get the free...i mean donated food.
5 comments:
also, if you "win" a charity ride, people remember it for a long long time, and bring it up at other charity rides, and mark you like you're ginog to repeat said feat. pretty amusing.
Charity? There's no charity in cycling. Mark, you know cyclists are the most competitive bunch in the world. Who else would train 10 to 20 hours a week for the chance to win $75 on the weekend?
Hope all is well at ABC delivery Co.
I will be a marked man this saturday. paul sherwin and phil liggitt are going to call the ride. in the pre-race interview, they said i had a good chance at the winning KOM.
man i love the free fig newtons
that's hawaii, right? that's gotta be hawaii in the pic. come on robinson! gimmee a caption!
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