Have you ever watched clowns try to ram themselves into a VW bug? You keep thinking, man, something's got to give. I often wonder if the guy behind the steering wheel can still breathe? Yeah yea, we know his face is turning blue, and he seems to have lost the normal happy clown look, and if you watch his lips closely, he just said something about, "get off of me, I cannot breathe, I think one of my ribs just cracked, oh wait, I can feel my spleen in my mouth, why did I not finish my last year @ Elma-Charlie's Truck Driving and Beauty School...." Or, at least it appears that he's saying something like that...Anyways, that's how my sinus cavity feels like. It's stuffed full of mucus. Oh yes, my faithful readers, I have drank gallons of green/white/peppermint tea at this point, and I'm just waiting for the river to flow. This brings me to a very interesting point. Does the fact that the cleaning lady just came in here and cleaned the entire office with what appears to be a mild CLOROX solution. And, when I say mild, I mean somewhere around a 19:1 mix. At what point should I be worried about what I'm inhaling...before or after my arm went numb?
And lastly, allow me to throw out the question which should be on everyone's minds. What are smurfs made of? Say if a smurf were running through the woods(and we all know that they should be abiding by all the safety standards out in the forest. SAFETY FIRST!), and this particular Smurf tripped over a rock. Upon impact, this smurf, now apply named TimGraham Smurf, scratched his knee. Is the guy gonna bleed blue? Do they have bones or what? Are they made of a tasty sugar-like treat? Would we all enjoy eating a smurf or 2 after dinner? Stop freaking out people, they may be just like eating chicken. You don't know....and I don't know. But you know who did know, GARGEMEL!!!!
caio!
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the mandykins forwarded this link to me. probably so i could comment on the composition of the smurfs. i happen to be a smurf expert, having lived for a spell in France and purchasing as many of the original-language books as i could. (les schtroumpfs are a belgian creation, after all) Yes, Gargamel was a mean nasty Belgian. He made the smurfs out of that belgian mud that cyclo-cross racers love, which is why we love smurfs so much. Unfortunately, some cow poo got mixed in there too, which is why there is a Grumpy Smurf. They are three apples high and don't bleed, pee, poo or reproduce. but sometimes the stork brings them a baby.
oh, and for the record, gargamel never did manage to cook a smurf. he didn't really want to eat them, he wanted to use them to make gold. but my guess is, in the end, they taste like mud with a bit of cow poo mixed in. not gonna test that one out!
ah, very very interesting info about the smurfs...however, 2 questions still remain:
1) are they blue colored because they never pee or poo and all the pressure causes them to turn blue in pure pain?
2) are they in anyway related to the blue man group? I heard rumors...
the blue man group is just a shoddy copy cat outfit of the original "dance of the 100 smurfs" band that plays at big festivities. i couldn't tell you about their skin color though... good theory. perhaps they're blue because they have short people syndrome.
let's talk about the possibility of there being 100 smurfs. as far as i've seen when watching the cartoon(is it still on?), there are about 10 smurfs that we can recognize...the rest of them look to be replica's of the same smurf over and over again. are they all just mini clones of the smurf aply named, "Plain Smurf?" Oh ya, and how the heck did we ever get the little kid smurfs that cannot seem to grow up...Snappy and all them...oh do explain.
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