credit card purchases require a $10 purchase, slicker

since i'm from a town so small that it cannot be viewed under a microscope, i tend to refer to myself as 'from the country.' i've always found this to make it easy for folks in places like Franklin, NC to relate to a person like myself. i also find that my brown skin tends to be a bit of a distraction in this part of the country...imagine that.

Wednesday Night/Monta Albon/This set the record for the second time...notice, I gets down in the tie.

In this town where high society means that you use a napkin, and not your sleeve, we have been doing some training for the good folks here @ COMPANY XYZ(protecting the innocent of course). After some mild talk about random things not to be discussed nor to be alluded to nor to be thought about or even for others to imagine *we put down some Mexican food. I currently am the record holder for food there. They say no man has ever eaten the BIG MAN'S COMBO except yours truly, weighing in at a firm 168 lbs. (*we=the main[you may remember his antics from the coffee shop 360 dunk], brownie, myself) Apparently, the ladies in Franklin are quite fond of 'the main.' But, I know that most of these women have not seen city slickers like ourselves on a regular basis, and feel no attraction at all to 'the main' but merely wonder if these are the metro types that they've seen on tv. Spiked hair and designer jeans don't really fly here in the sticks. After my intestines had been rocked at the infamous Willy's BBQ joint, i filled them full of Mexican delights, and decided to call it a day after some normal email checking and taking time to make fun of brownie.
Day 2 brought the beautiful view of the misty mountain view outside the hotel. The mountains look glorious(insert the quote from Old School..."I see Blue, he's glorious). I think I even saw a billy goat in the distance, galloping across the plane, and 5 gentlemen dressed in camo shooting round after round of shotgun slugs at the young mammal, while screaming.."squill liikee uh pigg boooyy wheeewwww!!! I did notice that every phase up here ends in "BOY" or "GETRDUN" or "YOU AIN'T FRUM AROUND HERE R U BOY?" or "YOU BETTER GET OUTTA HERE WITH YOUR FANCY TIES, AND FAST TALK" and I even heard, "WE'RE GONNA KILL YOU." I exaggerated on the last one, but because every time I get in the elevator with a female, she pulls the alarm, and yells "please don't hurt me" I get the feeling that my time is limited. It has become more annoying than anything...the constant "don't hurt me" gets old. Heck, I went to pour a little milk over my cereal, and in the distance out in the parking lot, I hear a chic yell, "STOP HARRASSING ME" and all she saw was the back of my head. The popular dining does center around places like Shoney's known for their fine dining, and recent lack of cockroaches. The gas stations here prefer cash or bartering with chickens and goats to the ole plastic magic. I feel like today brownie and I were tricked into buying $10 worth of groceries at the TEXACO just so we could use the plastic. Oh well, no better time than the present to stock up on vita-water..right??

There are several other drinks in the car...believe me.

Nothing else can be said. We are about to go eat more food. I don't know from where. One of the locals said he would kill us some good eatin. We take that to be a good thing. He did ask me how much Brownie weighed and if I'd ever dun any chicken fight'n. I gotta go run to the porta john because I'm about to sprint a leak of pure vita-water...

I truly apologize if this blog was a little bland, but I'm in Franklin folks. It's a great place to ride my bike, but I wouldn't want to live here just to bring the minority population up to .0483%.