the title of this blog is to confuse those who stroll by the screen to assume this is just another useless, worthless, money well...not so well spent, mindless, tiresome report sent out to managers so that they can either delete it, open it, so that they can say they opened it before deleting it, or give them something to do to fill up their worthless corporate day full of fake talking, coffee drinking, micromanaging, worthless forwards, and waiting for the boss to go home so that they can jet down to the parking deck and bolt home so that they can start doing what they love to do...nothing.
anyways...this is the first part of a many part series because...well because i'm working.
let's concentrate on a dunking that occurred at the coffee shop. Main(that is his last name to protect the innocent) went into one of the Asheville Starbucks(by McDonald's), hoping to pick up a little cafe for himself and his bros. It would be the most self demoralizing, depressing, and debasing moment of his young, recently engaged life. Stepping to the counter in an obvious cloud of "chest puffed outness," he ordered what he though would impress the crowd, and secure him a spot on the Starbucks wall of fame. He uttered, "I'll have a halfcalfmocalattejimmycrack with no caf" or something like that. I'm not really sure what happened to him. It appeared by all accounts to be an out of body experience because after he utter the last words out of his lips, he fainted. Upon pulling himself off the floor his joyous, prideful triumph was interrupted by the powerful hand of STARBUCKS 101: coffee lingo. I personally would like to call what happened a slam dunk. The coffee representative behind the desk respectfully, yet with great force let Main know that he was a total idiot. She also made him feel like a two year old kid at a TWO year old kid kicking contest. He was told that such a coffee drink did not exist, and that he needed to refer back to a coffee manual, or just order a hot chocolate like the other 'big boys.' Sorry Main better stick to Folgers.
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