unlucky #4

2:38 am:4/5/07: I was rolling across 40W to my home away from home, Asheville, NC. Most people who might have seen me would say I was only 20% asleep. Now, mind you, this is a great improvement from my normal 44% AOTHWDCALTM frequency, AKA, Asleep On The Highway While Drinking Coffee and Listening to Music. It was about the 2nd hour of my trip as I topped black mountain, as I remember I had just adjusted the dial on Sirius radio over to 90’s alternative(apparently I’m stuck in the 90’s time warp, that’s not to say that I don’t like recent stuff, but most of the punk rock now kinda stinks…I mean who wants to listen to some 16 year old kid cry about how his dad does not like him because he made a bad grade on his report card…do they still have report cards, and about how his backpack is too heavy, so now he’s gonna run away and start a rock band, and date some chic that’s 14 so eventually he can end up in jail when her mother finds out that he’s a little punk kid who did not even get his GED, and cannot even spell the word “kat.” And rail on and on in the high pitched non-developed voice as he expresses his deepest desire to turn his terrible, $9K/yr private school attending, 2007 E series Mercedes convertible driving, suave spiked hair done @ the salon of course, D&D boxer wearing life into something because apparently he thinks it’s nothing. That was not a knock on Good Charlotte) , i think i fell asleep for about 5 minutes, and then had a glance at the highway, and there it was...

There are 4 very notable bunnies that come to mind around this time of year->
1)Bugs Bunny
2)Easter Bunny
3)Monty Python Bunny
4)unlucky #4

1)Bugs Bunny is quite the clever fellow. He's tricky, you know. He dresses up like random people...come to think of it he lies a lot, back stabs, double crosses, politics, and high kicks most everyone. It's strictly pie in the face antics for this guy. He's never been beaten, boiled in a pot, or chased down in a break. Dang, I bet he's good on the bike. Imagine this guy in a sprint.

2)Do you still believe in this guy? Who does? A big life size bunny that runs around hiding eggs is absolutely, well it's insane. Let's think this thing through, a large mammal...Life size...come bolting in your yard, leaving eggs that he's obviously stolen from someones chickens...whose chickens...and hey guess what, they are NOT free range. I know this guy, we've had conversations, talked about life, he doesn't recycle...what a waste. At any rate, so now you have a bunch of eggs hidden in your yard, some still contain baby chics. yeah that's nasty, but that's how this cat rolls. And, let's just come totally clean while we're on the topic, it's a guy in a big bunny suite. Yea, sorry to remove the wool from your eyes on this. It's a 45 year old man with a mustache thick enough to catch 65% of the milk you'd drink in a 32 oz container. Notice...I didn't say soy milk because this fellow takes it vitamin D all the way. Now, you think about it, there's a 45 year old guy who single, with a mustache, prancing, TIP TOE-ing around your yard, putting eggs all over the place will he lights up another Newport menthol. At what point should you lock the door and hide the kids. Eggs don't come naturally colored, so you go ahead and figure out how they get that way.

3) This guy is so dangerous. Have you ever seen a bunny willing to jump from person to person slaughtering innocent knights on their quest for the grail? Blood was flying everywhere, guts, and flesh whipped all over the camera lens. He had big teeth that...look at the bones!

4) now, for the guy who just was trying to get to the other side. this is a shame. most bunny's don't lose sprints. but when you're competing with a burgundy civic...no chance. especially when the guy who hasn't posted a win since this time last year is challenging. That's right. I took him out. I don't like to lose. I've beaten small children in pee-wee basketball. I've dunked on them, blocked them, hand checked, poked, jabbed, and even completed triple-doubles by yanking down 35 rebounds...most of which happened because I jerked it out of their grubby little sweaty palms during a moment of their obvious stupidity and anxious desire to outshine me. That's a giant mistake. Did I mention that i dogged 13 kids at a skating rink once, I took them from the start; I felt no need to wait for the sprint. That's how I work. Oh wow, yes, back to the bunny. This guy came bolting across the street. I think the civic hit him with the left and right wheels. !!BooBump!! *that was the sound it made.
I would say that in the moment I took time out for a silent moment. You know, a moment of silence for the fallen, yet brave and daring bunny, that thought it nothing to take on a civic in the middle of the night...but then again, I decided, as my empathy button had been pushed and some weird emotion was coming over me, that I come to win. Sorry about his luck. You know the score. Bunny=0, jrob=1. Eric, put that on my review.