TPS reports #2

sometimes you just want to stand up, go over to the guy in the cube next to you, rip his keyboard out of the back of his computer, get right nose to nose with him and tell to stop typing so dang loud because even though he might think you are hard of hearing, the blood coming from your ears from the constant pounding on multiple keys to get to the letter "A" should be a clear sign that the banging sound is just plenty loud enough....you'd like to gift wrap him a copy of Mavis Beacon's typing basics for beginners and take it up to him with a Santa clause suit on, and tie a big stocking around his neck and ram it in there until he starts to cough...walk over to the color printer, and pour the day old coffee and filter that none one wants to change under the hood, and set it for 4000 copies, just to scare the printer into believing that it's actually going to have to do some work, and upon this news, it will likely throw up some wacky excuse of an error which no one has even seen before...then slap the know it all chic in the office in the back of the head and tell her that "unexcusableness" is not a word, take her granola bar, slam it all into your mouth and spit it out onto her desk and form it into a little miniature snow man...then turn the lights off while exclaiming, "WE'RE ONLY SAVING THE COMPANY MONEY!"...go upstairs to the roof, and walk straight over to the edge and jump....i don't mean jump just straight down, i mean jump way out like as if to try to make gravity mad that you would use this kind of defiant force. then instead of landing on your feet and shattering every bone in your legs, attempt to land on your side so that you have a chance to practice the 'stop drop and roll' technique....after you realize that you've only broken your left foot, and yes...for you bball players...this is going to create a small problem...you pull out your Motorola Q, and go to yahoo finance to see that regardless of all your wreckless actions, you didn't influence the stock market one point...and then you realize that stocks & options(puts) are about as good of an idea as it was for you to dress up like Santa. that's corporate america in a nutshell. but we all work here because it pays well and it gives us a nice opportunity to complain, drink coffee, illegally trade stocks, make paper airplanes, imitate our bosses, make noises during meetings, randomly blurt random phrases during conference calls and not answer the "WHO KEEPS DOING THAT!" question, sneak out after only 10 hours of work, secretly wear birks because they look polishable, eat $30 worth everytime on the company tab...and if you really eat $14- you go ahead and offer up the $16 tip...you gotta help the GDP anyway you can, dream about free market capitalism, hack through the firewall for websites that pertain to funny stuff, go out of your way to waste time which normally backfires into more work, point out the kissups, and intentially leave the old coffee in the pot so some wacko will eventually lose it on a friday when the stock market goes bad and watch them tear the office up in a rant, go up the roof and jump off. well, it's 3:30pm, i'm sneakin out! Eric put that on my review.