in czech, Friday means "run before your boss sees you"

of all places i'd like to visit, I think kublackistan is on the top of the list. oh yes, i've been warned that such a place might not exists. but, people always say "might" because once you get over in that Kazakhstan/Krygyzstan/Mongolia region, it turns into a free for all, anything goes, invite your cousins over for chips and dip, coconuts nuts minus the nuts...kind of affair. In other words, it's nutty. i think such a place is perfect for me and my entourage. I realizes as I was sifting through the myriad of digital photos on my computer that I left out very important and quite commical pictures which show the true love that exists over at the motovelo/sledgehammer charlies family. You see sometimes when we're on the trainers warming up, we like to hold hands. It's purely hetero fun. Why do I wear a helmet when I'm on the trainer? Fantastic question. I have absolutely no idea what I was doing, nor what was really happening...this is not uncommon. Secondly, you might as....what the heck is El Presidente doing? As usually, he's taunting us with various sugar-filled delights. Now, let us get on to other random funny events that require very little thinking for your brains to digest yet provide moments of euphoria that your bosses will not be happy with.

#1 - POST OFFICE SMOST OFFICE: okay, the platform on my speedplays broke...for you non cyclists...a piece of my pedal broke because i'm just so explosive and powerful when i ride..>AAGHH!!!!...so anyways, i thought...cool, let me save a little dough, go to the post office instead of shipping through *COMPANY XYZ* So i roll in do the automated thing, cause that's how i thought i rolled. i tried to be a big boy, apparently i have a lot to learn. i assumed that those envelopes were for customer use. i figured it was a good will offering from the post office that they would supply the means if we supplied the way...but heck no. so i grabbed a priority envelope and attempted to send my pedal back to the good folks over @ speedplay, which yes as you guessed it are way more tree-hugger than i claim to be. I mailed it on it's way...and i'm thinking...good deal. well, if i had picked "BIG IDIOT" for $400 Alex Trebeck, then the question would have been, "who tried to ship something regular ground, in a priority envelope?" DING DING DING..."who is, jcr?" yah, got it right. so they promptly sent it to my house, so i thought well dang...i'm gonna ship this with their envelopes whether they like it or not. so i took the smartest chic around up the the PO with me this time. she's good for figuring stuff out or getting people fired. and i figure since i'm not white, if i kick and beat on the machine, i'm in jail, however KR's less than brownish skin color keeps her from never confronting the 5.0 on anything less than murder. so she concocts a genius plan....let's take an envelope and turn it inside out, thus still using their stuff, however tricking them, and thus getting me some vindication. GENIUS GENIUS. and so it was...

#2 - cupcake me, i'll cupcake you: so apparently, i was duked into eating some cupcakes...yes yes, they contained sugar, HFCS, and a buncha other chemicals that i believe go into the concocting of smurfs. I'm sorry Cara, but I do believe they still have something sugar like in them besides cyclocross mud. so i thought, one good turn deserves another, so i took the cupcake and chunked it at an oncoming mini van. now, this mini van contained a very clever woman that i know and like, however i thought she'd just let it go. the look on her face told me otherwise...later that night as i was about exit my vehicle, a van comes barreling out of no where....guns it towards my car, and in an instant i became the victim of a appalling crime, a drive by cupcaking. it hit my windshield. the next day a back of cup cakes was even mystically delivered to my neighbor's doorstep(they got confused as to which house was mine). So, i fought back the only way I knew how. I sent one of those creepy, stalker, kidnap style letters, formed with block-lettering from velonews, simple magazine, and some random recyclable items...wrapped the entire gooey cupcake in the letter, and shoved it in the envelope addresses to 'you know who.' that's how i roll. Eric, if you're available please put that on my review as well. my palamaries are stacking up like a ditch digger piles up the dirt. oh ya, i forgot...i did shave down to a mohawk on Saturday...