I have legs longer than most women
#2 - i would like to offer a free no money back guarantee to those of you out there who do not use cruise control on the highways of these united states. it's not hard to do at all. in fact, please gimme a call, and i will send you my 5 step instructional dvd which walks folks just like yourselves step-by-step on how to use the cruise control feature on your car. some of you may be saying, 'well, julian...i don't have cruise control.' i'm glad you brought that up, i also have something for you. it's called the 'pick a speed and deal with it because you are causing a normally docile and kind individual to be induced with severe and flagrant road rage which will not be calmed nor toned down by level headed individuals telling him to pipe down, and let it go.' please allow me to give you a situation which should encourage you to use what the the good car genie gave you. i see driving like cycling. i don't mind driving in large bunched up group; in fact i prefer that...it makes my car use less fuel. but if the person in front is a 150 year old headless driver(old person whose head does not reach over the steering wheel), and they are all over the road at the firm 45 mph pace, i get a little irritated. Let's say that we're all driving together and someone has 'break at every thing on the highway' syndrome. once again folks, this is a problem. you don't have to hit the large pedal every time you see red lights 20 miles down the road. you don't have to break when you see hows on the side of the road or for the following reasons: large trucks pass you, litter on the side of the road, your phone rings, you hang up your phone, a good song comes on, there is a wreck on the other side of the median, you hear about a wreck on the radio. do not break for any of these reasons, or else it will give me sufficient justification to break your neck. for all of you folks that i tend to pass 17 times. allow me to make this clear, I DON'T WANT TO RACE OR SEE YOUR FACE THAT MANY TIMES. I DON'T KNOW YOU, DON'T WANT TO, AND DON'T LIKE YOU. there, i said it. that goes out to you mr. whitesaturn that i passed 1000483483948394.348348 times today because you could not pick a speed and stick with it. folks i have the cruise control on, it's you who are erratic and irrational with your fluctuating mph. if you cannot handle yourselves, please pull the car over, and i can put a small block of wood under the gas pedal and duck tape your size 9 to it, so you can just go one speed. sometimes, i wish we were all on a rail, each car placed 9 feet apart. that would keep those folks in line. remember, it's not because i care, it's just that i care about getting passed by the 6 Delta Delta Delta's slammed into their dad's Yukon 15 times, while they rock out to "since you've been gone" simply because Becky's Gucci loafer can barely touch the pedal. Eric, please take this moment to put another notch in the belt, called my review. [no offense on the Becky comment Tim. Becky Graham is a saint]
#1 - for you cyclists stay away from polar products. they were not made @ the n. pole by the friendly hardworking elves whose 401Ks are securely wrapped tight due to the ever increasing need for candy canes, sleds, and nosetrimmers. polar HRMs are okay, however; the power modules are less that terrible. i am sending mine back for the 900th time, and i do not believe that is much of an exaggeration. you have been warned.
#2 - i would like to offer a free no money back guarantee to those of you out there who do not use cruise control on the highways of these united states. it's not hard to do at all. in fact, please gimme a call, and i will send you my 5 step instructional dvd which walks folks just like yourselves step-by-step on how to use the cruise control feature on your car. some of you may be saying, 'well, julian...i don't have cruise control.' i'm glad you brought that up, i also have something for you. it's called the 'pick a speed and deal with it because you are causing a normally docile and kind individual to be induced with severe and flagrant road rage which will not be calmed nor toned down by level headed individuals telling him to pipe down, and let it go.' please allow me to give you a situation which should encourage you to use what the the good car genie gave you. i see driving like cycling. i don't mind driving in large bunched up group; in fact i prefer that...it makes my car use less fuel. but if the person in front is a 150 year old headless driver(old person whose head does not reach over the steering wheel), and they are all over the road at the firm 45 mph pace, i get a little irritated. Let's say that we're all driving together and someone has 'break at every thing on the highway' syndrome. once again folks, this is a problem. you don't have to hit the large pedal every time you see red lights 20 miles down the road. you don't have to break when you see hows on the side of the road or for the following reasons: large trucks pass you, litter on the side of the road, your phone rings, you hang up your phone, a good song comes on, there is a wreck on the other side of the median, you hear about a wreck on the radio. do not break for any of these reasons, or else it will give me sufficient justification to break your neck. for all of you folks that i tend to pass 17 times. allow me to make this clear, I DON'T WANT TO RACE OR SEE YOUR FACE THAT MANY TIMES. I DON'T KNOW YOU, DON'T WANT TO, AND DON'T LIKE YOU. there, i said it. that goes out to you mr. whitesaturn that i passed 1000483483948394.348348 times today because you could not pick a speed and stick with it. folks i have the cruise control on, it's you who are erratic and irrational with your fluctuating mph. if you cannot handle yourselves, please pull the car over, and i can put a small block of wood under the gas pedal and duck tape your size 9 to it, so you can just go one speed. sometimes, i wish we were all on a rail, each car placed 9 feet apart. that would keep those folks in line. remember, it's not because i care, it's just that i care about getting passed by the 6 Delta Delta Delta's slammed into their dad's Yukon 15 times, while they rock out to "since you've been gone" simply because Becky's Gucci loafer can barely touch the pedal. Eric, please take this moment to put another notch in the belt, called my review. [no offense on the Becky comment Tim. Becky Graham is a saint]
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A special request is being made for a dvd on the topic of merging. I have often thought of some class or mass mailing to the people of North & South Carolina. DVD is a fantastic avenue, assuming they know how to use it. I've also pondered posting signs along the many on-ramps of NC, specifically exit 23 & 25 off I-77 South bound. I would like to speak to the those in the NC transportation department for their short on-ramps, and the loops that are too sharp to keep up to speed before entering 65 mile an hour traffic. Here's to merging Carolinas...look ahead, find a gap, get up to speed, and merge.
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